"1. Apply only to your dream school. Get in, of course, because there are no other options. Make mommy and daddy very proud, and slide the bill across the table between breaths at dinner. Smile as they smile, cut your pork chop into pieces small enough to swallow whole.
2. Room with your lifelong best friend. Never leave their side. Throw two-person parties and keep your bunk beds in the same spot the entire year. Make no new friends. One is enough.
3. Stay with your high school sweetheart. Make plans to get married and place all your trust in them. Sign up for mailing lists for loft apartments. Name your unborn children. Name your unborn dog. Make no new friends. One is enough.
4. Major in science. Major in math. Major in business. Major in money-making. Do not major in passing on stories. Major in industry and institution. Do not major in passion.
5. Do not go to parties. Do not stay out all night until the owls fall asleep. Do not risk grades. Grades are everything. Do not have hookups, do not get tattoos, do not do regrettable things on dance floors. Keep your poise. Keep your dignity. Keep your virginity. Keep your sanity.
6. Do not write. Stay up late memorizing formulas instead of Ferlinghetti, because you see no purpose in the latter. Words will not make you money. Do not write in a journal, do not document your feelings or your friendships. They’ll last forever. Do not ever write poetry. Do not admit defeat. Do not show vulnerability. Do not, do not write. When you write, you will become dissatisfied with satisfactory. You will upset the comfortable and disrupt the legacy money has built you. Do not write. Do not grow. Be successful. Pass."