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My names Flor and Im just a 19 yr old small town girl from Washington tryna survive college :)

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

(via troublclef)

just-exhale-love:

overwhelmedwithbasorexia:

myraggedywinchesters:

snorlaxatives:

carryonwaywardsoldier:

carryonwaywardsoldier:

my physics teacher told us a joke today

three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette over board and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter

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A CIGARETTE LIGHTER

I ACTUALLY GET IT OH MY GOD YES

Ima say this Joke now

(via tannerthenyou)

llcooljofficial:

one time in 7th grade everyone in my class got really quiet so i said “dildo” just to see the ridiculous reaction since i knew how immature 7th graders were

for 30 minutes, there was an uncontrollable uproar of laughter and someone fell and hit their head on a chair and had to go to the nurse

because i said dildo.

(via notwhaty0uexpected)

panic-at-the-discount-store:

I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms

(via srushtinator)